3 things that upset me? Wow, it seems we’re back to stuff that I’m determined to avoid these days. :)) Much like that post about turn offs, I try not to think about this kind of thing much. But, unlike those turn offs, I am depressingly aware of the stuff that tend to upset me. In fact, I think I may have detailed three of them in one of my older posts. And to be truthful, there are MORE things in my life that upset me than I can possibly enumerate, which is why I can’t help but feel that the 3-item limit on this is a bit of a relief.
That doesn’t mean that this is going to be easy. It’s still going to have to be 3 things that upset me. And this at a point in my life wherein I’m trying to minimize the number of things that get to me. I suppose I can make this easier by limiting it to the more minor nuisances, such as…
My complete inability to catch the cat on film
Allow me to explain. Meet our cat, Itim:
As you can see, he’s that particular shade of black that makes it very difficult for us to get some proper detail when we take photos of him. He also has this habit of being distracted by the camera itself, and we end up having to scrap most of the picture or footage of him. Normally, I wouldn’t pay it much mind; but the thing is, he recently gave us a very good reason to WANT to document him.
He plays FETCH. I’m not kidding. I wish I could find a way to record it without him paying attention to the camera instead. Or recording it so we can clearly show that he’s carrying that small bouncy ball in his mouth back to the humans who threw it. More importantly, I want to be able to do that before he becomes completely bored by this game. Right now, he downright demands that we bring out the ball. The idea that we’re having trouble recording this posterity is mildly upsetting.
Catching myself procrastinating (over things I like)
I’m not sure who I got it from, but I’m a woman of many interests.
In fact, I have so many interests that I practically paralyze myself with the sheer number of things that I COULD be doing at any given moment. It also doesn’t help that I’ve gotten a promotion at the office. That means I often have less time and energy to put into the stuff that I actually like doing–like knitting.crocheting, or finally acting on the plot bunnies that have been accumulating in my skull.
This is upsetting to me because, in the larger scheme of things, I’m sure I’m going to regret not ever writing a novel (even if I don’t think I’ll be publishing it). When I was growing up, I thought I was going to be a storyteller; an actress or an author. I was so SURE of it. In the end, I did become a career writer–a web content writer–and it’s a job I like doing. But it’s still not the same as being able to make people FEEL. I used to make people FEEL ALL THE THINGS. I’m not sure I can anymore. If I can’t, I suppose I can stick with the knitting and crocheting.
Not being profound
This one I can fully blame on having taken up Literature for college.
I’m not saying that taking up Literature is ALL bad. In fact, getting into long conversations about it is fun. But one unfortunate side effect of this is that it instilled in me this need for legitimacy, this need to seem profound to other people. Because clearly, you’re a person of depth when you’re a person of profundity. And I’m probably not trying hard enough if I didn’t think that a sock lying on the floor in one sentence of one page of one scene in an epic urban fantasy trilogy meant something in the larger scope of the narrative.
The truth is, I don’t want to seem shallow or stupid because I find that annoying in other people. And I sometimes feel that I’m annoyed by that PRECISELY because I can be just as shallow and stupid. It’s a terrible thing, being so judgmental to the point of constantly judging one’s self. The worst part is that I sometimes justify it as a means of bettering myself. It doesn’t better me, by the way. It just depresses me.
Wow. Now I’m compelled to ask if anyone else is upset over themselves.
BONUS: Not being able to hold a pen properly
One of my heroes, Rebecca Blain, recently posted lessons for proper pen-holding on her blog. And it became painfully clear that I couldn’t. I’m not even posting a photo of my pen-holding here because it’s far too embarrassing. This probably explains why I couldn’t sustain handwriting for very long. Considering the fact that my more creative writing happens when I’m writing by hand, I’m pretty sure that’s a really bad thing. ><