I’m not sure if there’s someone I miss out there. Missing someone means having been significantly connected to a person that you are no longer in contact with. Missing someone means no longer having an important person in your life, and constantly hoping that you can see him or her again. Missing someone…involves truly having lost someone.
The thing is, I find that it’s hard to actually lose people these days. The people I find important enough to miss are still in contact with me, either through various social media sites or in real life. The the people I have already lost never really felt like losses – many of them are people I never completely connected with, or people I was already expecting to lose (like sick loved ones). As such, it’s very difficult for me to miss someone; I can really think of any one person out there that I can honestly say is someone I miss.
In fact, I find that I mostly miss things about the TIME I spent with people. I miss being in school with my friends, when we didn’t have to worry about jobs and scholarships and money and the direction our futures are taking (even when some of us are, give or take, 30 years old). I miss having the time and energy necessary for sustaining fandoms with friends. I miss being able to focus on nothing but my education.
You know what? I think there IS someone I miss.
I miss the person I used to be. But she’s gone, and I’m proud of who I’ve become so far. Still, there are days…