My relationship with my parents is…complicated. I don’t mean that in a BAD way; I get along fairly well with the parental units, despite the squabbles I often get into with my mom (and most of that can be chalked up to the fact that we are very similar people with very different priorities) and the mini-arguments I get into with my dad every few weeks (which can be attributed to the both of us being naturally cranky). So yeah, I’m pretty happy with the parents I’ve got. Wouldn’t swap them for anyone else’s. Can’t imagine being the genetic spawn of anyone else.
Of course, that doesn’t exactly mean that things are simple. The fact that I have, in my opinion, AWESOME parents means that I will likely be their kid FOREVER.
Before you say “Oh, we’re all the children of our parents forever, right?” let me clarify a few things:
- I am Filipino, and we tend to stick with family until the end of our days*–or at least until we get married
- Meanwhile, I cannot imagine myself getting married
- I have geeky/nerdy pursuits that typically means I spend a lot of my money on things like comics, books, and writing materials (got this from dad)
- Meanwhile, I also like my little luxuries like good steak, sushi, and the occasional massage (got this from mom)…
- Incidentally, that’s why I still live with my mother (I’m with dad most weekends, though – my parents have been separated for years)
Given all those factors, I actually cannot see myself being adult enough to move to my own place. And I think my parents are okay with that. I’m not sure if being okay with stuff like that as a family is healthy (people might accuse us of being extremely co-dependent), but I think it’s working for now. It only gets a bit hairy when degrees of independence come into the picture, and either I or the parents forget that I’m almost thirty. Whenever I forget my own age, I tend to act like a petulant and entitled teenager. When my parents forget my age, they tend to expect me to go with them everywhere (mom) or try to not worry me over some issues that I might be able to help with (my dad). We can annoy each other like nobody else, but that’s probably because we care about each other way too much.
Of course, now that I’m actually a little over a year away from turning thirty, I notice that I act less like a toddler/teenager and my parents are letting me go/trusting me more. That still doesn’t change the fact that my relationship with my parents will likely be complicated for years to come; frankly, I think I’ll miss the minor complications if I ever have to let them go.
*Disclaimer: Not all Filipinos do this. But devotion to family is a very common Pinoy trait.