I have a confession to make.
I think I might be having some kind of mild nervous breakdown.
This has happened to me before. I won’t get into the nitty-gritties; but I’m willing to say that I’ve hit some emotional point that makes me want to just withdraw from some aspects of my life. I feel like I only have so much energy to expend, and that what little energy I have needs to be used for getting better as a person/professional. Writing helps, both in notebooks and this blog. Cutting back on social networks wherein I tend to be very emotionally involved also helps. Recalibrating the way I handle my job, doing one task at a time instead of worrying about all the tasks I’m yet to do, keeps me grounded to a certain extent.
There’s a confession or two related to this confession.
First, I don’t know what triggers this sort of feeling in me. One day, I’m fine; the next day (and for a while after that), the most I can do is repost and like stuff my friends post.
Second, I am very much aware of the irony of being active in blogging when I mostly want to be left alone. But I also know that withdrawing completely could not be healthy for me. And it’s not like I want to be COMPLETELY unavailable to my friends. I just want some breathing space while I’m panicking.
My only solace at the moment is that this mood will likely drive me to do more personal writing, which I feel I haven’t been doing enough of.
That last one? Is probably also a confession.