Like many human beings my age, I’d like to think I’ve lived long enough to experience at least a million embarrassments – some of them (unfortunately) reflecting badly on my parents. To ask me to choose one embarrassing moment from that multitude is tricky. Do I go with the MOST embarrassing? The most painful? The funniest?
I decided to go with the VERY first time that I truly felt embarrassed. I was really young. I was supposed to bond with my Dad. And I peed my shorts, probably in full view of his friends and co-workers.
It wasn’t actually the peeing that made me feel shame, though. It’s the fact that I felt like peeing in the middle of a shoot for a Hi-C commercial (I think they were launching strawberry-flavored Hi-C at the time). There’s an extremely pretty girl hanging out of a fake window on a fake facade of a fake cottage. My dad seemed extremely busy, and to my mind, he was one of the most important people there.
In reality, he was the copywriter/creative director and he was probably only there to make sure they could adjust the script as necessary.
Still, I did not want to shame him by asking him to go to the bathroom at that point. I also didn’t want him to worry, which is why I didn’t try to look for the bathroom myself and getting lost.
So I embarrassed him by pissing the heck out of my shorts, right onto my socks and rubber shoes, instead. Go young me.
I don’t remember how my father reacted at that point. He was probably really angry that I didn’t say anything and thus has forced him to drive a very smelly and damp little girl home. Meanwhile, the memory of that incident embarrasses me to this day.
Aaaaaaaand now you have blackmail material to use against me, Internet. Go me.