So I’m still sick, which basically means that I can’t focus too much on anything – I can barely even find things to read unless they just randomly pop up on my email. Thankfully, I have a father who KNOWS ME ALL TOO WELL.
He sent me the best summary of Man of Steel ever. He sent it yesterday, and I still can’t stop reading it. I can’t stop laughing. OH MY GOD THIS IS GOLD.
Warning: this is not for the easily butthurt folks who actually liked the movie.
Here are some of my favorite bits:
Pa Kent: YOU ARE GOING TO BE A BEACON OF HOPE WHEN YOU GROW UP, CLARK, A BEACON OF HOPE THAT WATCHES CHILDREN DIE WHEN HE COULD HAVE EASILY SAVED THEM.
(the tornado starts to pick Pa Kent up)
Pa Kent:Clark!
Young Clark: Dad!
Pa Kent:Remember! Remember this one thing!
Young Clark: I will, Dad!
Pa Kent: KEEP… MURDERING… CHILDRENNNnnnnnnnnnnnnn! (Pa Kent is carried away — flashback ends)
Jor-El: I told Lois Lane how to defeat Zod and send his ship back to the Phantom Zone.
Superman: Really? Um, do you want to tell me? Since we’re here talking and all?
Jor-El: Nope.
Superman: Save everybody some time?
Jor-El: No, I’m fine, thanks.
Superman:Both of my fathers are assholes. (flies after Lois)
Golden, I tell you. I encourage everyone (with a sense of humor) to read this. READ IT! READ IT! It basically summarized a lot of my problems with the movie.
Dad? I LOVE YOU for sending me this.