Still Reading: Forty Days of Dating

Okay, I just HAVE to do another post about this project.

Not only is it so gripping that I’m not sure what I’m going to do in my spare time AFTER we get to Day 40, it’s also so popular that my post on it has something like 180 views. That kind of traffic is insane, as far as I’m concerned.

To those who happened to pass through this blog because of 40 Days, hi! Have you gotten to Day 24/25 yet? Because holy heck, they actually went for it. Not that I’m surprised, but this is one of those things that could either work out really, really well or really, really badly. Call me a pessimist, but it really feels like the latter to me. I don’t think their neuroses complement each other at all. It’s not that I don’t believe in the opposites attract thing – I do. It’s just that “attraction” doesn’t necessarily translate to a successful love story in real life.

Forty Days 26 (from the site Forty Days of Dating)
Forty Days 26 (from the site Forty Days of Dating)

You know, this whole thing kind of makes me think of my overall attitude about relationships: they’re wonderful, but they don’t need to end in “marriage” or “happily ever after after”. This is not an issue of commitment – I can be committed as heck if I want to. It’s just that I’ve seen way too many couples who break up after they get married or after years together. And that’s even if they seemed perfect for each other.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have issues with marriage; I don’t see why it has to be THE proof of commitment, when there are other ways to express commitment. Half the time, I think it’s that piece of paper or the promise of “forever” that destroys the relationship because it puts so much pressure on it. Unless you’re ALREADY extremely committed, I don’t think that a wedding or any similar deals will do anything to really reinforce the romantic partnership. I know that there’s this thing about pressure and diamonds, but I always thought that it only works when you’re dealing with coal. I don’t think that romance is anything like coal. I could be wrong.

My point is that I’m probably more like Tim in the experiment – even though I’m far from being a serial dater. As such, Jessie’s earnest desire to have a relationship like her parents’ makes me slightly uncomfortable. I think that’s too much to hope and push for, especially when there’s no relationship to speak of. They don’t say it outright, but I think she occasionally approaches attraction with unconscious expectations of happy endings. That, I think, can be totally unfair to a partner.

What do you guys think? Will Jessie and Tim make it or will they crash and burn? What are your opinions about relationships, commitment, and romantic expectations?

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