An Addiction to Everything

I’ve been addicted to everything I’ve ever liked, lately. I don’t think it’s a Fear of Missing Out thing, either. I think it’s more along the lines of rediscovering their magic. It’s a great feeling, picking up knitting needles or playing Disney’s Magical World (to all the normal people out there: please don’t play this game, it will suck you in like a blackhole of fun and childhood memories). I love picking up a pen and journaling, hauling out my laptop and typing up some fiction. I love picking up on little details that I missed on my first read-through of The Dresden Files, details that, in retrospect, totally foreshadowed a lot of the stuff that happened in later books (OMG Lea hinted interest in Molly long before they *redacted*). I love learning new things, which is why I’ve been reading up on everything from writing news to SEO hacks, and taking a refresher on HTML and CSS care of CodeAcademy (which is TOTALLY the most awesome way to learn how to code – SkillCrush is a close second). I’m not even going to talk about my various social networks, which provide me with really interesting content in which I could drown myself. This, on top of the actual studying I have to do in order to get my Google AdWords certification.

If anything, doing all this stuff actually makes me miss out on other stuff I appreciate. Sleep, for example. And possibly long, leisurely lunches spent in solitude – with only a book as a companion.

Foodie Bookworm
My face when someone interrupts my foodie-bookworm time. Photo c/o Jie the boyfriend.

I’m not sure why I’m into all of this stuff at the same time. Is it because I turned 30 last month and I just realized how much of my 20’s I’ve spent actually derping around and coasting on what my mom often calls “luck and some talent”? Maybe it’s because it occurred to me that I haven’t actually stretched myself, haven’t explored enough things to form clear, concrete goals. It could be that I’m testing all of these things at the same time so I can figure out what I’d like to have as my purpose.

And yes, I said “figure out what I’d like to have as my purpose” because I sure as heck don’t want other people telling me what my own damn purpose is supposed to be. Of course, if my purpose is actually to do what other people ask me to do, I’ll be fine with that too. I just want to make sure that I’d LIKE to do that for the next decade or so (at which point I’ll have to go through this process all over again).

I truly do envy the people out there who have very firm ideas on what they want to do for a living, even if they haven’t settled on just one. They probably aren’t as confused or as anxious as I am right now.

But I can’t say that I’m not having fun right now.

Have you found your purpose? How did you find it? And if you haven’t, are you enjoying the ride?

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