It’s Hard to Think When You’re Half-Asleep

I used to scoff at all those people who say that you need to have x number of hours of sleep in order to function effectively, mainly because I found that some of the best writing ideas happened when I’m sleepy (or drunk).

But now that I’m 30…well. It is, as a wise little man once said, “a horse of a different color”. Instead of giving me nice, cracktastic plot bunnies, I get a soup of nothingness that keeps pulling me into a vortex of “I want to back to bed” (where I can presumably continue to explore the range of colors a horse might have).

Thank you, The World of Steam, for this totally accurate and relevant image.

should be thinking of staying up-to-date with the latest search engine news. What I am thinking about is crawling onto the nearest comfortable surface and passing out for a week. Except I can’t do that because I already used two of my vacation leave credits for resting last week. So I’m writing this as an attempt to stay awake-ish for a few more minutes before I can convince the rest of my body to go get itself some caffeine or something.

But caffeine is PROBABLY not a good idea, considering the fact that it’s what got me into this mess in the first place. Protip, everyone: never EVER buy a large iced coffee in the afternoon and drink it until 7:30 in the evening when you have a 6 am shift the next day. You won’t be able to sleep until 10:30 pm, and you’ll keep waking up over the slightest change in the room – like someone turning a fan or bathroom light on or off, or someone getting up to leave the room. And it’s always so hard to go back to sleep.

So this day is spent being half-asleep, operating largely by virtue of will and probably some form of brain muscle memory (yes, yes, I know brains don’t have muscles; but it’s been compared to muscles often enough to make me not quibble at this point). And any thoughts I may have right now are not really thoughts – they’re pre-programmed opinions I had unconsciously set up for situations like this. They’re not very creative.

Then again, I haven’t been really creative in a while.

I wonder if I’ve been half-asleep for the last month or so?

And is anybody out there an expert at thinking while half-asleep? Can you tell me your secrets? I promise to pay you for the information (though we may need to work out a payment plan; I’m sorta strapped for cash at the moment).

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