Little by Little

Today, I’m rediscovering myself, little by little, as I do little things.

Testing crochet patterns for Christmas presents.

Picking yarn with my sister.

Applying for a postal ID.

Buying a syringe for my fountain pen ink.

Writing.

Saying yes to things.

The terror and anxiety of my new normal still sits like a sinister specter at the base of my skull, but it hasn’t grasped for me all day.

Each word, each inch of stitching, is a brief wave of exhilaration; they are short breaths of peace breaking through.

They are not answers, but they stop the cruel questions I ask about myself.

I’m not sure I’m the confident person I was last year anymore. But I am making progress, little by little.

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