On Going Back to Sleep

Yesterday, I posted a status message on Facebook. It says “Follow your dreams. Go back to sleep.” I thought it was pretty funny and it got a lot of positive reactions.

ReadinginBetween_Sleeping Cat

Of course, there is a nugget of truth to that declaration. I think we’re required to be awake for far too long these days. I think we’re expected to be present in the present at all times and, more often than not, our own presence in the moment is not for our own benefit.

Often, when we are asked Β to show up, it’s so we can do things for other people.

Don’t get me wrong. Service is a wonderful thing. One of the things I learned about myself over the past year and a half is that I like delivering good work because I want to actually be helpful. It can be super fulfilling and, much besides, wouldn’t we dissolve into some terrible anarchic post-apocalyptic disaster if we refused to give a damn about other people?

But back to the point: service is all well and good, but every person can only give so much. Eventually, they start feeling empty. They can’t tap into their hidden reserves anymore because they’ve already been tapping into it for, like, the last 8 months. They haven’t had time to work on the work they want to do because something else needed to be done.

Also, they haven’t slept properly for about 3 months.

For some reason, most of us grow up thinking that going to sleep and being awake for ourselves is selfish. How dare we, when other people need us? How dare we, when we’re more useful in this capacity than that capacity?

Biggest clincher: How dare we, when we’re being paid to do it?

Here is the lesson I think I need to learn: it’s not “either-or”. It’s “and also”. The key is moderation and the choice to give within reason.

I still don’t know how to help people without going overboard. But at least I understand that helping others and gunning for my dreams don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

And at least I know that to be even remotely effective at either, I need time to sleep.

You probably need it too.

Sick Days and Sleeping

I’m only staying awake long enough to type a post for today – then I’m going to medicate the hell out of myself and try to fight this cold by sleeping. Somehow, that always works for me: take a really powerful anti-flu tablet (just to make sure that the cold I have won’t turn into full-blown influenza) and curl up on a cushion somewhere, dreaming of giant robots fighting monstrous viruses in my bloodstream. When I wake up, I usually feel much, much better.

sleep
I want to sleep on this picture. (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Taking the meds and trying to work through the day is always a bad idea. Those things often make me hallucinate. For some reason, I always see cattle at the corner of my eye when I take a Bioflu and stay awake afterwards.

Those cows sure know how to stare.

I’m not sure why it has to be cows. Maybe it’s because, as a girl, I used to read that Far Side book “The Curse of Madam C” when I’m too sick to go to school. Maybe I now associate illness and medication with really creepy cattle animals that watch me as I go about my life. I don’t know what they’re watching me for, but I get the sneaking suspicion that they want me to become one of them.

Like, a cow. With a herd.

But I don’t want to become a cow. If I learned anything from watching episodes of “The Incredible Dr. Pol”, it’s that cows get sick over the weirdest things. Air between their skin and flesh, for example. And I don’t want to even get into all the problems you can have when you have four freaking stomachs to worry about. I should know; I consistently have stomach issues mys-

Oh god. I probably used to be cow. Those staring cows must be my ancestors or something.

I…I think I really need to go to sleep now.

Busy Day Vacation Edition

Yep, I’m posting early there’s no Fanfiction Friday today – mainly because I’ve decided to maximize my vacation by spending it the way any vacation should be spent: either sleeping on the couch or pigging out with my family.

Of course, I’ll still do important things like pay bills and such; but it’ll mostly be made up of eating and sleeping. As my friends and I would say, “buhay sawa” (it means “living like a boa constrictor”/”living like a snake”).

After a nightcap, it's time for some torpor

This doesn’t mean that I won’t be writing. It just means I won’t be blogging for the rest of the weekend; I’ll limit most of my writing to my notebooks. Can’t really rest when I’m worried about stuff happening online, can I? In fact, I’m thinking of scaling back on my blog posting in the coming weeks. I’ve gotten my targets for this quarter, and it looks like I’ll be swamped.

Which is good, because I need the money. πŸ™‚

See you in a couple of days, folks! πŸ™‚